Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Community

The value of a ‘small’ Christian life

I grew up in Sydney—a vast city with an ever-growing population and a never-ending list of things to do and see. In Sydney, you can find just about anything or anyone if you travel far enough. It’s a world of opportunity, with very few limitations. What an exciting place to grow up!

But in our first year of marriage, we moved to the regional area where my husband grew up. Our ultimate plan was to head to Europe as missionaries (how exciting!), but out of the blue, we were offered the chance to gain some ministry experience by serving in an Anglican church outside of Sydney. After four years, with one toddler in tow, we ended up moving a few postcodes over to serve in another church in a regional town.

Thirteen years and three more sons later, we’ve had one church change and a few job changes for my husband, but we are still living in the same town. Part of the reason we have stayed put is that my parents generously helped us to buy a house here a number of years ago.

Since then, a strange thing has happened—our whole world has now shrunk down to this one small regional town. Our older kids have moved to a Christian school here, our youngest was offered a preschool place in the town, I have taken up part-time work a few blocks away from that, I now teach SRE in the local primary school … and even our sons’ Cadets unit moved to a new HQ—at the end of our street! I never have to travel more than six minutes in my normal weekly routine.

The life we have now is quite a contrast from the way I grew up. So what are the things I’ve noticed about the value of living a ‘small’ Christian life?

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Schooling: positive starts and positive partnerships

Most Australian children will spend 13 years of their life attending school. That’s a long time! So as parents it’s important for us to think about how to set our kids up for a positive and meaningful experience of schooling.

That was the focus of our most recent conversation on the Timeless Parenting podcast with our guest, preschool educator and mother-of-five, Kat Ashton Israel.

Many parents agonise over the seemingly all-important question: When should I send my child to school? For children born in the first half of the year, parents have the choice of sending them when they are turning five or turning six. We can become preoccupied by getting this decision ‘right’.

This is indeed an important question to consider, and one that we discuss in this episode. But actually, it isn’t the only question we need to think about. In our conversation we also talked about:

How can we begin preparing our child for starting school?

How can we develop a positive partnership with our child’s school and teacher?

When concerns and conflicts with the school arise, how can we navigate them well?

As Christians, how can we make a positive contribution to our school community?

One question we chose not to discuss was which kind of schooling to choose for your child—public, church or Christian school … or homeschooling. If you would like to think more about that topic, check out Emily Cobb’s chapter of Parenting in God’s Family: ‘Weighing up different types of schooling’.

This conversation brings a balanced Christian perspective to the topic of schooling and will give you plenty of ideas for having positive starts and positive partnerships at school!

Listen, be encouraged and share it with your friends!

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Mothers Union Sydney runs an annual seminar about Christian life and parenting. Listen to talks from previous seminars on Soundcloud.

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Making peace in the parenting wars

When I was in my 20s, I studied and lived at Bible college. Some of the married students also lived on campus together with their whole family. I once commented to one of the wives that it must be so wonderful to have other Christian mums and kids around during the day. But her reply left me in shock. She said that there was actually a noticeable division between the college families—some families intentionally avoided spending time together. So what was it that had driven a wedge between these Christian families? Was it a difference of doctrines or denomination? No—it was their differing parenting styles. And I’m sure that this story is all too common.

So how can we build positive relationships with other Christian parents, when our parenting styles can be so different?

It’s a journey

The fact is that our parenting style usually grows and matures with time. We all start out as anxious and overprotective ‘first-time parents’. But as time goes on, we gain confidence in our parenting through experience and observation. We refine our approach through trial and error. By the time we have our second or third child we have usually become more relaxed and self-assured. Parenting is just one of those skills you have to learn on the job.

So when we encounter someone with a different parenting style to us, it may be that they are still finding their feet. Maybe they just haven’t had the chance to learn all of the lessons that we have learnt. We need to allow other parents time to mature in their parenting, like we have done.

I find this is a helpful starting point for conversations—I can usually empathise with where other parents are at in their parenting journey. By acknowledging that we are all improving as we go, I can humbly share the things I have learnt along the way.

Asking why …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

The things we learn when we’re at home sick

It’s official! Cold and flu season is upon us. Winter has barely started and our family has already been knocked down by one thing after another. It’s been a brutal reminder that there are still plenty of ‘Diseases Other Than Covid’ about. Maybe you know the feeling: when you start losing track of who’s had what and when, and you’ve got the school office/absentee line on ‘speed dial’.

But when we are home sick, there are some important life lessons that we and our children can learn together.

Part of life

When our children were little, I used to get shocked every time they got sick. I would rack my brains trying to work out where they might have caught the illness, and how I could have prevented it. I expected that with good hygiene and healthy food I could keep the kids healthy 100% of the time.

My perspective changed when a friend pointed out that it’s quite normal for preschoolers to get up to six (or more!) colds per year; in fact, that’s how their immune system develops.

Actually, my friend’s perspective was much more biblical than mine. Getting sick is a tangible reminder for us and our children that we live outside Eden, where every good thing is prone to disease and decay. Sickness reminds us of our own mortality.

We can point ourselves and our children to our perfect future home with God, where ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away’ (Revelation 21:4).

But in the meantime, all we can say to our kids is that unfortunately, getting sick is part of life. The question is not whether we will get sick, but how we can manage when we do. And we are extremely fortunate to have modern medicine to help us through the most common illnesses we face.

Even mummies and daddies …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

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