Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Start reading ‘Big Picture Parents’ for FREE

Here’s what people are saying about Big Picture Parents:

This is such a calming, ‘phew!’ kind of a book – highly recommended for anyone, but especially if the day-to-day challenges of parenting are stressing you out right now. Harriet is a gifted Bible teacher, and her careful reflections, rooted in everyday life, will bring peace and hope to any family situation.

–Lucy Rycroft

Big Picture Parents isn’t another how-to book that leaves you overwhelmed and discouraged (thank goodness). Instead, it reminds you of the bigger story God has written for you and your family, which is so easy to forget in the midst of life’s craziness. I found it super helpful and encouraging. You should seriously check it out. .”

–Jennifer Phillips

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What’s the value of family rhythms and traditions?

What does your family’s calendar look like at this time of year? Perhaps Christmas is looming a little too close for comfort, and the weekends are beginning to fill up with end-of-year events.

In a busy world, it sometimes feels as if others are setting the rhythm for our family’s life. Whether it’s our children’s school, their sporting and dance groups or even just the commercial calendar at the shops, we can feel like we’re just running from one event to the next. And when it comes to Christmas, these ‘traditions’ we get caught up in do not necessarily help our family to focus on Jesus, the reason for the (silly) season.

As Christian families, we want to be intentional about how we use our time—our days, weeks, months and years—because the things that we prioritise and regularly repeat become the things that shape and define our family.

The latest episode of our Timeless Parenting podcast is an opportunity for you to slow down and give some thought to your family’s rhythms and traditions. Join us for a warm and encouraging conversation with Mary O’Brien, a great-grandmother and former missionary, and Jocelyn Loane, a mother of five children, aged 8 to 18, about the traditions that have shaped their families in the Christian faith.

We talk about what the Bible says about family traditions, how repeated rhythms can benefit our families and how we can keep a healthy focus on relationships rather than ‘rules’ amidst it all. You’ll be inspired by their ideas and examples of the kind of daily, weekly and yearly rhythms that can draw our Christian families closer to God and closer to each other.

Listen, be encouraged and share it with your friends!

If you would like to think more about this topic, have a look at Wendy Lin’s chapter of Parenting in God’s Family: ‘Setting rhythms that point our family to Jesus’.

Youthworks Media has also just released a digital Advent resource for families:
An Arrival to Celebrate: Fun Advent devotions for busy families unwrapping God’s big Bible plan

An Arrival to Celebrate

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Schooling: positive starts and positive partnerships

Most Australian children will spend 13 years of their life attending school. That’s a long time! So as parents it’s important for us to think about how to set our kids up for a positive and meaningful experience of schooling.

That was the focus of our most recent conversation on the Timeless Parenting podcast with our guest, preschool educator and mother-of-five, Kat Ashton Israel.

Many parents agonise over the seemingly all-important question: When should I send my child to school? For children born in the first half of the year, parents have the choice of sending them when they are turning five or turning six. We can become preoccupied by getting this decision ‘right’.

This is indeed an important question to consider, and one that we discuss in this episode. But actually, it isn’t the only question we need to think about. In our conversation we also talked about:

How can we begin preparing our child for starting school?

How can we develop a positive partnership with our child’s school and teacher?

When concerns and conflicts with the school arise, how can we navigate them well?

As Christians, how can we make a positive contribution to our school community?

One question we chose not to discuss was which kind of schooling to choose for your child—public, church or Christian school … or homeschooling. If you would like to think more about that topic, check out Emily Cobb’s chapter of Parenting in God’s Family: ‘Weighing up different types of schooling’.

This conversation brings a balanced Christian perspective to the topic of schooling and will give you plenty of ideas for having positive starts and positive partnerships at school!

Listen, be encouraged and share it with your friends!

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Mothers Union Sydney runs an annual seminar about Christian life and parenting. Listen to talks from previous seminars on Soundcloud.

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Interview with The Pastor’s Heart

This week, my friend and co-author Kat Ashton Israel and I were interviewed by Dominic Steele from ‘The Pastor’s Heart’ about Parenting in God’s Family.

Don’t panic! Here’s how to navigate gender confusion

We live in a time of great confusion about gender—what it means to be a man or woman, boy or girl. And sadly, an increasing number of children are getting caught up in the confusion. As Christian parents, we can look around and start to become anxious that our own children might suddenly begin to question their gender.

In the latest episode of our Timeless Parenting podcast, we spoke with Christian sexologist Patricia Weerakoon and her son, theologian Kamal Weerakoon to gain an understanding of this fraught topic. They began by laying the foundations, explaining how we got to this point in history, what ‘transgender ideology’ means and why it is growing in influence.

By contrast, Patricia and Kamal helped us to build up a biblical, Christian picture of gender that is grounded in God’s good creation of our male and female bodies, and yet free from restrictive gender stereotypes.

**Patricia and Kamal Weerakoon have also written a chapter on this topic in our new book, Parenting in God’s Family. Order your copy today!**

And what about the gender-confused kids?

In our conversation, Patricia and Kamal shared their wealth of expert knowledge about the complex network of factors that can lead children to experience distress relating to their gender, and the risks of a medicalised approach.

What can Christian parents do?

The right time to start helping your kids build a healthy gender identity is … now! Patricia and Kamal explained how Christian parents can pre-emptively subvert the messages of transgender ideology, even before their children come across them in the classroom, playground or on social media. We can help our children to develop a positive view of the male or female bodies that God has given them, and a positive view of the puberty they will experience. We can also provide our kids with a rich variety of role models from the Bible and real life to demonstrate that there is no ‘right’ way to be a boy or girl, man or woman.

Mum, dad … I think I’m trans

Many parents live in fear of hearing their child utter those words. But in our conversation, Patricia reassured us: ‘Don’t panic!’. She then proceeded to give parents (and other invested adults) some very practical steps they can take to work through this situation with their child in a constructive way, ‘leaning in’ with love.

If you haven’t listened to our podcast before, this episode is not to be missed. Take the time to get informed, encouraged and equipped to help your children develop a healthy gender identity, starting now. We also recommend reading Patricia’s books, such as Talking Sex by the Book, which guides parents in talking to their children about this topic, especially those who may be confused about gender.

Patricia and Kamal Weerakoon have also written a chapter on this topic in our new book, Parenting in God’s Family:

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Parenting in God’s Family

‘Parenting in God’s Family’ contains reflections and advice by 16 authors from many different walks and stages of life, all seeking to encourage and equip parents with biblical wisdom and practical tips. It covers topics as diverse as sibling relationships, schooling choices and single parenting, as well as discipline, doubts and digital boundaries. Read more

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney. If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

What is Christian parenting?

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of our new book, Parenting in God’s Family.

When our first son was about six weeks old, I joined a ‘mother and baby’ group run by our local health service. After the formal education sessions ended, our group continued to meet until our babies were about two years old. That group was a great support to me. It was such a relief to meet some other new mothers and realise that most of my questions, concerns and struggles were perfectly normal.

It felt like I had so much in common with those other mothers—we seemed to have similar desires, hopes and worries for our children, and similar expectations and disappointments about motherhood. As time went on, I started to wonder what difference it made that I was a Christian. Was my approach to raising children any different to that of the other parents around me?

In my case, Christian parenting was a completely foreign territory. I grew up in a non-Christian family and came to Christ independently in late primary school. I had never seen or experienced ‘Christian parenting’ until I was trying to do it myself!

Our first son is now a teenager and has been joined by three younger brothers. For most of that time, I’ve been trying to work out what Christian parenting looks like by reading and reflecting on the Bible, getting to know our children, talking with my husband and connecting with other Christian parents. Like any new area of knowledge or skill, I think you only really get better at parenting as you practise and refine your approach over time. Christian parenting is not a set of detailed rules or instructions; it’s more like a set of principles that need to be applied with wisdom at each new stage of your child’s development.

If were to summarise it, I would say:

Christian parenting means receiving children as gifts from God, reflecting his fatherly love to them and taking responsibility for their apprenticeship in life and faith. At the same time, Christian parenting means acknowledging our human limitations and introducing our children to their perfect heavenly Father and his spiritual family.

Receiving children as gifts from God

Christian parenting begins with acknowledging that our children have been hand-crafted by God for his good purposes; ultimately, they belong to God, but he has entrusted them to us to care for and raise. Modern technologies might give the impression that children are ‘ours’ to be planned, expected, created and designed according to our desires, but Christians need to resist this kind of thinking. Every child, no matter how ‘unplanned’ or seemingly imperfect, is a good gift from the hand of God. In Chapter 3, Jodie McIver helps us to see how pregnancy and birth are also good gifts from God that can teach us profound truths about ourselves and about God and his work in the world.

Knowing that our children have been created by God reminds us that they have also been created for God and his purposes, not ours. In fact, when a child is conceived, an eternal soul has come into being. What a sobering thought! Our children were made by God to worship him and live his way, working in the world and doing good to those around them.

Seeing our children as gifts from God trains us to pay attention to them—to learn about what they need, how they are developing, their unique personalities, strengths and challenges. In the next chapter we will consider some broad stages of childhood development and how that impacts our approach to parenting.

In Chapter 21, Leisa Williams helps us to consider what Christian parenting might look like if we have a child with special needs.

Reflecting God’s fatherly love to our children

In the Bible, one of the primary metaphors that God uses to describe his relationship to his people is that of fatherhood (and occasionally, motherhood). In speaking of himself as Father, God emphasises his creation of his people and the unconditional love, commitment, provision, patience and forgiveness he shows them; he also emphasises the teaching and loving discipline that fatherhood entails. God expects his children to respond by honouring, trusting, listening to and imitating him, their heavenly Father. The relationship between human parents and their children is a signpost pointing to this relationship between God and his people.

Distinctively Christian parenting is done by men and women who know God as their heavenly Father and seek to reflect his loving fatherhood to their children. We seek to show our children unconditional love, while also teaching them to respond to us with trust, respect and obedience.

In Chapter 4, Yixin Jiang Xu explains how in the early years, loving like God means providing a safe, available and caring presence and promptly meeting our children’s needs. This allows children to form a strong bond or ‘attachment’ with their parents, which is vital for their development.

In Chapter 5, Tim Beilharz explores the significant role that earthly fathers play in children’s development and suggests some ways that churches can help to support children who find themselves ‘fatherless’.

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Parenting in God’s Family

‘Parenting in God’s Family’ contains reflections and advice by 16 authors from many different walks and stages of life, all seeking to encourage and equip parents with biblical wisdom and practical tips.

Read more

Taking responsibility for our children’s apprenticeship

An apprenticeship in life

Children are on a gradual path to maturity, and parents are responsible for helping them grow towards that goal. Christian parents teach their children the meaning or purpose of life according to God. Rather than raising our children to seek happiness and self-fulfilment, we are teaching them to honour God, work in his world and do good to other people. Our children’s apprenticeship includes acquiring the knowledge, skills and values they will need to fulfil their God-given purpose. Importantly, an apprenticeship is not just classroom learning; it is an ongoing personal relationship in which a ‘master’ models and teaches all that the apprentice needs to know until the apprentice becomes competent to do things themself.

Our children’s apprenticeship includes developing Christian values such as respect, compassion, generosity, self-control and honesty. In Chapter 6, we consider a Christian view of discipline as discipleship, then explore how parents can encourage good behaviour and respond to bad behaviour in their children. In Chapter 7, Jocelyn Loane gives some practical advice for helping our children to put Christian values into practice in the context of their relationships with their siblings.

Our children’s apprenticeship in life includes learning about the world that God has made. In Chapter 8, Emily Cobb helps us think through how Christian families can partner with a variety of education providers to ensure that their children learn the basics of literacy, numeracy, the sciences and humanities, as well as understand how this knowledge fits into a Christian world view.

Teaching our children how to live in the world includes helping them to understand the beauty of God’s design for humanity. We are created to be male and female and relate to one another sexually within the context of marriage. In chapters 9 and 10, Patricia Weerakoon and Kamal Weerakoon advise parents on how to help their children avoid confusion and develop a healthy sexuality and gender identity.

An apprenticeship in faith

Christian parents are also responsible for giving our children an apprenticeship in faith: passing on the knowledge of God and the habits of a living faith. Wendy Lin helps us in Chapter 11 to get a big picture of how to grow our family in the faith, before sharing some practical advice for teaching children of different ages how to pray and read the Bible in Chapter 12. Then in Chapter 13, she explains how we can shape our days, weeks and years in a way that points our family to Jesus. In Chapter 14, we look at how to prioritise belonging to a local church community, even when it’s hard.

As our children become teenagers, they will have to decide for themselves whether they will continue on in the Christian faith as adults. In Chapter 15, Kat Ashton Israel reflects on the challenges of the teenage years, especially when our children may choose to opt out of the Christian faith.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where technology exposes our children to many competing influences and habits that are ‘discipling’ them towards other visions of maturity. In Chapter 16, Daniel Sih helps us to see how parents can ensure that technology is working for and not against our children’s apprenticeship in life and faith.

Acknowledging our human limitations

Introducing our children to their perfect heavenly Father

One of the major distinctives of Christian parenting is that we recognise the limits of being human. We know from the Bible that all of us fall short of God’s standards and need to be forgiven and washed clean by the blood of Jesus. So Christian parents don’t need to pretend to be perfect; we are free to admit when we have sinned and ask God and others, including our children, for forgiveness.

In our weakness, we can call out to God for help and, in the power of the Holy Spirit, find new ways to grow in godliness. In Chapter 17, Kat Ashton Israel shares some practical strategies to help parents avoid and manage feelings of overwhelm. In Chapter 18, Geoff Robson explores what the Bible says about sleep and how tired parents can still rest in God.

Christian parents also recognise that our children are not perfect and their life in this fallen world will never be perfect either. So, we need to keep pointing our children to Jesus, our Saviour and theirs, who is always willing to forgive and restore. We also need to equip our children to persevere through disappointments, failures and setbacks with resilience, trusting in God, who can use even the hard things for our good.

Introducing our children to their spiritual family

The final distinctive of Christian parenting is the awareness that raising children is beyond the capacity of two human parents. Christian parents are meant to bring their children into the wider family of God—a local church—where children can connect with a whole network of Christians of all ages and stages who can contribute to their growth in life and faith. Christian parents know that raising children is not meant to be a private, solitary affair, but something done in the context of community. And just as Christian parents need support from others, Christian parenting also looks beyond the nuclear family to welcome outsiders in. This is the focus of Chapter 14.

In our final section, ‘What if …’, we see how belonging to a church is particularly important for parents with non-Christian spouses (Chapter 19 by Karen Beilharz), single parents (Chapter 20 by Ruth Baker) and parents of children with special needs (Chapter 21 by Leisa Williams).

At the end of the day, Christian parenting is not about being perfect but about being faithful. When we stumble, we get back up and just keep going—doing our best to know, love and teach the children God has entrusted to us. And, knowing our human limitations, we are also ‘full of faith’. We keep lifting our eyes—and our children’s—to the only perfect Father who is always ready to forgive, guide and strengthen us for the responsibility of Christian parenting.

Order your copy of ‘Parenting in God’s family’ from Youthworks Media today

This excerpt originally appeared at Growing Faith.

Tell your kids the good news about sex

When it comes to the topic of sex, there are some negative stereotypes about Christian parents. We are often viewed as the ones who shut down awkward questions about ‘unwholesome’ topics, who don’t understand the explicit things our kids’ friends are talking about, who give the impression that sex is bad or ‘dirty’, who react with anger to our hyper-sexualised society.

But, according to our latest podcast guests, all of this needs to change. Christian sexologist Patricia Weerakoon, together with her son and co-author, Kamal, are passionate about equipping Christian parents to be the ones who share the good news about sex with their children.

The good news is that God created sex—and he thinks it’s great! Sex is part of God’s good design to bring a man and a woman together in love and affection; to bind them together physically, emotionally and spiritually; and to bring forth a new generation of people through their act of love. Because sex is so significant, God has given humanity the gift of man–woman marriage—a safe, loving, exclusive and committed relationship—as the ideal context for it to be enjoyed.

All of this means that Christian parents should be the first ones to talk about sex with our children. We have good news about sex and the loving God who designed it.

Even though we know it’s important, many Christian parents feel embarrassed to talk about sex with our children. We don’t know how to start or what to say. We put off having ‘the talk’ because we think it will be easier when our children are older.

But the sad fact is that if we don’t start teaching our children about sex, someone else will get in first. Our children live in a world where their friends, their school or even internet pornography will provide their sex education, whether we like it or not. And the messages our children hear from these sources may not be so positive or healthy. Christian parents need to start educating their children before they are exposed to the world’s messages about sex. And it’s not a case of having ‘the talk’, but rather having lots of little conversations along the way.

Of course, we pace these conversations according to our children’s age. We will talk with a two-year-old in a very different way to a 12-year-old. We won’t share all the specific details with our very young children, but there are still some important foundations that we need to lay, beginning with simply teaching our children about their ‘special’, private body parts.

In this fourth episode of the Timeless Parenting podcast, Ann Cunningham joined forces with Al James from the Effective Ministry Podcast to mine Patricia and Kamal Weerakoon’s expertise on this important topic.

You will be inspired, encouraged, challenged and equipped to break the stereotype and become the Christian parent who does start those honest conversations and tell their children the good news about sex.

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Will my pet be in heaven?

A previous Growing Faith article looked at the value of having pets as part of our family. But the inevitable downside of loving pets is the heartbreak of losing them. When this happens, our children may wonder, ‘Will my pet be in heaven?’. Here are some things to keep in mind as we answer.

The question behind the question

To begin with, it’s helpful to consider that our children may not be looking for a detailed theological answer to this question. It may simply be an expression of how much they miss their pet and wish they could see them again.

Before jumping to a theological answer, it’s always good to stop and acknowledge our child’s feelings. We can say something like, ‘I know you really miss Daisy. I do too. The hard part of loving someone is having to say goodbye to them. It’s normal to feel sad when someone you care about dies.’

Explaining heaven

When we do go on to explain heaven, it’s important not to speculate beyond what the Bible says. Unfortunately, heaven is one of those topics where we often desire more detail and certainty than the Bible provides. Perhaps that’s why there are so many commonly held ideas about heaven that are derived more from popular culture or classical art than from the Bible.

In the Bible, ‘the heavens’ can simply refer to the skies above us, but it also refers to the place where God dwells. God’s Old Testament people were to pray: ‘Look down from heaven, your holy dwelling place, and bless your people Israel’ (Deuteronomy 26:15). Jesus also taught us to pray to ‘Our father in heaven’ (Matthew 6:9). I like to explain this to my children as being not just ‘above’ the earth, but also ‘behind’ what we can see with our eyes. Heaven is in another, spiritual dimension that is currently invisible to us.

We can explain to our children that people who trust in Jesus will go to be with him when they die (Philippians 1:23). But a day is coming when Jesus will return, those who have died will rise again, and all people will be judged (1 Thessalonians 4:16–18). Peter explains further:

‘That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.’ (2 Peter 3:12–13)

We can comfort our children with the famous words of Revelation 21:

‘Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth”, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”’ (Revelation 21:1–4)

We can reassure our children that, although we don’t know exactly what the ‘new heaven and new earth’ will be like, we won’t experience grief or sadness as we do now. Revelation describes heaven as full of people worshipping God, the one who sits on the throne in the heavenly city. When we get to heaven, we will be fully satisfied with the joy of seeing and worshipping our Lord.

Will animals be in heaven?

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

How can we help our kids stick with Jesus?

Introducing ‘Timeless Parenting’ Episode 3.

As Christian parents, our deepest desire is for our kids to know, love and follow Jesus along with us. We want them to enjoy being part of our local church family with us. And as they grow towards adulthood, our great hope and prayer is that they would continue on in the faith, making it their own for life.

Did you know that sociologists have studied ‘faith retention’ in children? Researchers have tried to work out what are the factors common to children who go on to share the faith of their parents. Of course, there are no guarantees or ‘silver bullets’. Ultimately, our children’s faith is a gift of God. We need to remember the words of Scripture:

‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.’ (Ephesians 2:8–9)

Keeping this in mind, there are certain things which the research suggests are common to children who retain the faith of their parents. Surprisingly, having daily family devotions is not one of them! And neither is having a group of Christian peers. While these things have an important role to play, they don’t make the top of the list.

In the third episode of the Timeless Parenting podcast, you can listen to our conversation with Al James from Youthworks on the topic: ‘How can we help our kids stick with Jesus?’

Listen, be encouraged and share it with your friends.

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Mothers Union Sydney runs an annual seminar about Christian life and parenting. Listen to talks from previous seminars on Soundcloud.

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

How can we do church well, even when it’s hard?

Introducing ‘Timeless Parenting’ Episode 2.

For Christian parents, getting to church each week is an important part of our faith. It strengthens our relationship with God as we hear his word, it points us back to our Saviour Jesus, it allows us to express our love for God through prayer and song, and it unites us with fellow believers.

But what about our kids? How do the kids in your house respond when you say ‘Come on everyone, it’s time for church!’? If your family is anything like mine, it’s not always with unbridled joy.

Sometimes it feels like our children are involuntary conscripts in our participation in church. Taking them to church with us can be really, really hard work. For example (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience!):
•    when your toddler crawls underneath people’s legs (and skirts!) towards the front while you’re stuck up the back breastfeeding
•    when your baby spits up all over your shirt—and you didn’t think to pack a change of clothes for you
•    when your preschooler gets the chance to speak into the microphone and decides simply to smile and say ‘butt’—on the day when the Bishop is visiting
•    when your older son throws a paper plane—and it lands among the votive candles and catches on fire
•    when your children simply don’t want to go to church.

The Bible is clear that, despite the potential challenges, our kids belong in church as much as we adults do. Children are not just the church of the future—they are part of the church of today. This has always been the case for God’s people. In the Old Testament, children were expressly included in the regular festivals and in the public reading of God’s law. In the early Christian church, believers met in their homes for worship and shared meals, which naturally included their children. When Paul wrote to these churches, he specifically addressed both parents and children (Ephesians 6:1–4). Peter’s first sermon finished with the reassurance that ‘The promise [of forgiveness and the Holy Spirit] is for you and your children and all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call’ (Acts 2:39).

Spiritually speaking, our children are part of the church alongside us. But how can we help them to know and to feel that they belong? How can we persevere in bringing our children to church when it gets hard? And how can we respond when our younger children decide that they don’t want to come?

We spoke about all these things in the second episode of our new podcast, Timeless Parenting. This podcast, a collaboration between Growing Faith and Mothers Union Sydney, is where we have real conversations across the generations exploring God’s wisdom for modern families. In our second conversation, we spoke with Al James, father of four and Youth Ministry Advisor with Youthworks [pictured with us above].

Listen, be encouraged and share it with your friends!

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Why I’m meeting with my federal MP

…about proposed legislation affecting ‘religious’ schools.

When your phone rings and it’s the school’s number, you always pay attention. And when it’s the Principal on the other end of the line, you know it must be serious. When that happened to me last week, I braced myself for the worst.

But the serious issue that our Principal was calling me about was not concerning my children specifically. It was about something much broader that could affect every child in every Christian, church or ‘religious’ school across Australia.

The Principal of our children’s school was calling to invite me to join a small group of parents meeting with our federal Member of Parliament in a couple of weeks’ time to voice our views on some proposed changes to legislation concerning ‘religious educational institutions’. Knowing the profound significance of these proposed changes, I immediately agreed. Although I find the thought of speaking face-to-face with an MP extremely daunting, this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.

What are the proposed changes?

Under Australian law, ‘religious educational institutions’ are currently exempt from the Sex Discrimination Act (1984) (SDA), which prohibits individuals and organisations from discriminating against a person based on that person’s sex, marital or relationship status, pregnancy or, since 2013, their sexual orientation or gender identity.

These exemptions were put in place ‘in order to avoid injury to the religious susceptibilities of adherents of that religion or creed’.1 In 2013, when sexual orientation and gender identity were added to the list of protected attributes, there was bipartisan support for keeping the exemptions in order to ‘protect the right to freedom of thought, conscience, and religion or belief in respect of the new grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity’.

The current Federal Government has now committed to removing these exemptions to make it unlawful for religious educational institutions to ‘discriminate’ against students or staff based on their sex, marital or relationship status, pregnancy, sexual orientation or gender identity. At the same time, the Government wants to ensure that these institutions ‘can continue to build a community of faith by giving preference, in good faith, to persons of the same religion … in the selection of staff’.2

In some jurisdictions, such as Victoria, these kind of exemptions have already been removed, making it illegal in that state for a Christian school to fire—or refuse to employ—a person based on their sexual practice, gender identity or marital status. Queensland is proposing to prohibit a school from discriminating against an even wider group, including those doing ‘sex work activity’.

In order to bring Australian law into line with this, the Federal Government asked the Australian Law Reform Commission (ALRC) to investigate whether their commitments were consistent with international human rights law. The ALRC delivered its recommendations in December, which, if implemented, would write the Government’s commitments into law.

The ALRC report admits that in seeking to ‘maximise’ the right of some teachers to work in religious schools, its recommended reforms ‘may limit, for some people, the freedom to manifest religion or belief in community with others, and the parental liberty to “ensure the religious and moral education of their children in conformity with their own convictions”’.3

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