I recently came away from a job interview wishing I hadn’t spoken so much about motherhood. When asked to outline my experience in balancing competing projects and deadlines, the best examples I could think of were from my family life. But on reflection, that probably came across as unprofessional. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.
In the world of work, it’s often best to pretend that we aren’t mothers at all. In fact, it’s illegal for prospective employers to ask if we are.
Feminism has fought hard for women to have an equal place in the workforce alongside men. But it has largely accomplished this by separating women from motherhood. The priorities of contemporary feminism are to enable women to avoid becoming mothers in the first place (through contraception and access to abortion) and to ensure that motherhood doesn’t inhibit a woman’s career (through access to childcare and maternity leave).
But this creates a huge tension for many women—we experience a disconnect between the promises of feminism and real-life motherhood. It feels like you can’t be a good feminist and a good mother at the same time.
