Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Tough questions

Prayer and its place in our families

Prayer is an essential part of the Christian life—but it can be challenging for parents and children alike. How can we make prayer a part of our routine throughout the different stages of family life?

In this episode of Timeless Parenting we got practical about prayer with our guest, author and mother-of-three Wendy Lin. We spoke about how we experienced (or didn’t experience) Christian prayer in our families of origin and how we decided to approach it with our own children. We set the scene by discussing the questions ‘What is prayer?’ and ‘Why should we pray if God already knows everything?’. We then shared insights and practical ideas about:

  • How can we practise both routine and spontaneous prayer?
  • How does God answer prayer?
  • How can we do family prayer when we’re not confident?
  • What should we do if our spouse is not a keen Christian?
  • How can busy parents find time for personal prayer?

This conversation is insightful, practical, encouraging and full of grace for families in every season of life! You won’t hear a lot of ‘shoulds’, but rather a whole range of ideas that you could try out with your family.

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

Mothers Union Sydney runs an annual seminar about Christian life and parenting: The Joy of Enough, February 27, 2026.

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media and Mothers Union Sydney.

Why do Christians fight in wars?

On occasions like Anzac Day, our kids can come up with some tricky questions. One that we’ve had to keep talking about as a family is whether it’s OK for Christians to fight in wars.

It’s not ideal

The first thing to talk about with our children is the fact that war is a product of living in a fallen world full of sinful people. Wars would not happen if groups of people were able to live side-by-side in perfect harmony—sharing their resources without greed or covetousness, overlooking the differences between them and treating one another with mutual respect.

But ever since humanity fell into sin, groups of people have been fighting against each other. Wars usually start because of disagreements over land, resources, leadership or ideology. Our children won’t find it hard to recognise the seeds of these kinds of disagreements in their own hearts and relationships, especially with their siblings.

But war always results in the destruction of life and property; it always affects both soldiers and civilians; it always ushers in a general state of instability, scarcity, distrust and fear.

War is never a good thing, even if it may sometimes be deemed necessary.

It’s not forever

War is a tragic consequence of living in a fallen world. Which means that war will no longer be present in the new heavens and new earth that God will bring about when Jesus returns. As Isaiah said:

In the last days,

the mountain of the Lord’s temple will be established
as the highest of the mountains;
it will be exalted above the hills,
and all nations will stream to it.

Many peoples will come and say,

Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the temple of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us his ways,
so that we may walk in his paths.’
The law will go out from Zion,
the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He will judge between the nations
and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore. (Isaiah 2:2–4)

We long for that day when God will ‘break the bow and shatter the spear’ wielded in war (Psalm 46:9). How much more so our Christian brothers and sisters living in warzones across the globe!

It’s not personal

Our kids may notice the seeming contradiction between the commandments ‘Do not murder’ and ‘turn the other cheek’ and Christians fighting in a war, where they may have to end another person’s life. So it’s important to help our children understand the difference between murder and killing.

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When children wander from the faith

As Christian parents we have to live with an uncomfortable tension. Our parenting matters—indeed God instructs us to raise our children in the Christian faith—but ultimately, it is only God who can give saving faith to our children.

We long for our children to grow up knowing, loving and following Jesus, just as we do. We do all that we can to pass on our Christian faith through our example, our teaching and our family routines and priorities. This is what we explored in the last episode of Timeless Parenting: how we can equip our children to stand firm in the Christian faith, especially in an increasingly hostile world.

But in this follow-up episode, we discuss the confronting reality that, despite our best efforts, not all of the children of Christian parents choose to keep following Jesus. This is a great test of our own faith—will we keep trusting God, even if our children wander away from him?

In this conversation, we are joined by guests Kat Ashton Israel and Al James as we explore:

  • Why do Christians feel uncomfortable discussing this topic?
  • How does it impact parents (and their faith) when a child ‘wanders’ from God?
  • If we can’t guarantee our children’s faith, what is our role?
  • How can we respond helpfully to our children’s questions and doubts about Christianity?
  • How can parents respond when a child walks away from church and Christianity?
  • How can our churches better support families with children who have ‘wandered’?

This episode offers real stories and helpful insights, as well as empathy and encouragement for parents and churches who are experiencing the heartache of seeing young people walk away from faith.

For more on this topic, you can read Kat Ashton Israel’s chapter ‘Teenage faith: doubters, drifters and deserters’ in Parenting in God’s Family.

You can also find our podcast on SpotifyApple Podcasts and other platforms.

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Will my pet be in heaven?

A previous Growing Faith article looked at the value of having pets as part of our family. But the inevitable downside of loving pets is the heartbreak of losing them. When this happens, our children may wonder, ‘Will my pet be in heaven?’. Here are some things to keep in mind as we answer.

The question behind the question

To begin with, it’s helpful to consider that our children may not be looking for a detailed theological answer to this question. It may simply be an expression of how much they miss their pet and wish they could see them again.

Before jumping to a theological answer, it’s always good to stop and acknowledge our child’s feelings. We can say something like, ‘I know you really miss Daisy. I do too. The hard part of loving someone is having to say goodbye to them. It’s normal to feel sad when someone you care about dies.’

Explaining heaven

When we do go on to explain heaven, it’s important not to speculate beyond what the Bible says. Unfortunately, heaven is one of those topics where we often desire more detail and certainty than the Bible provides. Perhaps that’s why there are so many commonly held ideas about heaven that are derived more from popular culture or classical art than from the Bible.

In the Bible, ‘the heavens’ can simply refer to the skies above us, but it also refers to the place where God dwells. God’s Old Testament people were to pray: ‘Look down from heaven, your holy dwelling place, and bless your people Israel’ (Deuteronomy 26:15). Jesus also taught us to pray to ‘Our father in heaven’ (Matthew 6:9). I like to explain this to my children as being not just ‘above’ the earth, but also ‘behind’ what we can see with our eyes. Heaven is in another, spiritual dimension that is currently invisible to us.

We can explain to our children that people who trust in Jesus will go to be with him when they die (Philippians 1:23). But a day is coming when Jesus will return, those who have died will rise again, and all people will be judged (1 Thessalonians 4:16–18). Peter explains further:

‘That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.’ (2 Peter 3:12–13)

We can comfort our children with the famous words of Revelation 21:

‘Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth”, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”’ (Revelation 21:1–4)

We can reassure our children that, although we don’t know exactly what the ‘new heaven and new earth’ will be like, we won’t experience grief or sadness as we do now. Revelation describes heaven as full of people worshipping God, the one who sits on the throne in the heavenly city. When we get to heaven, we will be fully satisfied with the joy of seeing and worshipping our Lord.

Will animals be in heaven?

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

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