Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Resurrection

Mum/dad, why do we call it Good Friday?

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On 29/03/2024

In Articles

Good Friday is the day when Christians worldwide pause to remember the crucifixion of our Saviour Jesus. Traditionally it’s a day of mourning. So how did it start? And why do we call it ‘good’?

The history of the day

In the first three centuries of the Church, Jesus’ death and resurrection were remembered together in a shorter celebration of Easter. The early Christians held one all-night vigil in the lead up to a service of communion at dawn on the Sunday.

Gradually, Easter began to take the form that it does today, spread out over a whole week—’Holy Week’—from Palm Sunday through to Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and then Easter Sunday. The idea of the week-long celebration is that Christians enter into the journey of Jesus, taking time to remember the various events of his final week.

The date of Easter changes because it is calculated in relationship to the cycles of the moon (following Passover, the Jewish festival during which Jesus died). Easter Day falls on the first Sunday after the full moon that follows March 20 (which used to be the date of the Equinox). So Good Friday always falls between March 20 and April 23. If your older children are interested in astronomy, they can read more about this complicated astronomical calculation.

Good Friday has always been a sombre day for Christians to reflect on the sacrificial death of their Lord. Most churches hold a reflective service, traditionally without the celebration of communion. The sombre mood is often expressed in churches being kept bare of any decorations and having music that is more subdued (in some traditions, without the organ).

The name of the day

In other cultures, the day is named differently. In German it is called ‘sorrowful’ Friday, and in Scandinavian languages (and Old English), ‘long Friday’, due to the length of traditional church services. In Romance languages, it is called ‘Holy Friday’ and in Greek it is called ‘the Holy and Great Friday’.

It is this final sense of the word that is carried by the English term ‘Good Friday’. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘good’ in this context refers to ‘a day or season observed as holy by the church’.

So, the first thing we can tell our children is that the meaning of Good Friday is ‘Great’ or ‘Special’ Friday.

The goodness of the day

But there is more we can say. Since at least the late nineteenth century, Christian parents have been explaining to their children that Good Friday is good because that is the day when Jesus died to save us from our sins and give us eternal life. On that day, God turned humanity’s worst evil—executing the innocent Son of God—into our greatest good—salvation for all who believe in him.

This was possible because Jesus chose to go to the cross; he willingly took the penalty for our sins, enduring condemnation and separation from God so that we don’t have to. Yes, Jesus was killed. But he also ‘laid down his life’ for us. He said, ‘I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again’ (John 10:18). As we explain Jesus’ death to our children, we can reassure them that Jesus wasn’t just a powerless victim. We can remind them of what Jesus said to his disciples when they wanted to fight against his arrest:

‘Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?’ (Matthew 26:53–4)

This Easter, let’s tell our children that Good Friday is a sad day. It is right to mourn the suffering and death that Jesus faced. But it is also a good day, because it marks the day when Jesus set us free from our sins by his blood and opened up the gates of heaven to all who believe in him.

This article originally appeared at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

References

‘Who, What, Why: Why is Good Friday called Good Friday?’ BBC Magazine.

‘Good Friday’, Britannica.

‘Passiontide and Holy Week’, Church of England.

‘Calculate the Date of Easter Sunday’, Astronomical Society of South Australia.

Preparing ourselves for Halloween

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On 21/10/2023

In Articles

At about this time every year, I notice a decoration going up on a house or a costume for sale in a shop and think to myself: ‘Ah yes, I really must work out what to do about Halloween—what should our family “policy” be?’

Just shut the door?

When our kids first became old enough to notice that something was going on, I was a little bit afraid of Halloween and we had a ‘just shut the door’ policy. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to deliberately scare children for fun. I told my kids simply, ‘We don’t do Halloween in our family’.

Then our children started seeing the neighbourhood kids walking past, all dressed up to go ‘trick or treating’. ‘Can we go too?’ they started to ask.

Just hospitality?

My next policy was one of ‘just hospitality’. I thought how sad it would be if the only house in the street with their door shut was the one where the Christians lived. So we began putting a bowl of lollies outside the house and welcoming trick or treaters as they passed. I let our kids get dressed up if they wanted to and encouraged them to invite the trick or treaters to come and take something. Gradually, my kids started making homemade decorations too. One year, they made a skull out of Lego. Another year, they wanted to try carving a pumpkin.

This week I listened to a podcast from Faith in Kids and was inspired by the example of some Christian families who make little gift bags to give out to the kids of their neighbourhood, sometimes including a Bible verse or a Christian Halloween story or tract (you can find some here and here).

No fear!

In previous years, I have felt reluctant to actively participate in Halloween beyond buying a few bags of lollies. I didn’t like all the dark spiritual undertones and the themes of death, violence and fear that seemed so anti-Christian.

However, my approach has changed since reading an article by James Jordan (there’s also a video from SpeakLife that takes a similar approach). Jordan explains the Christian origins of Halloween or All Hallow’s Eve (the night before All Saints Day) like this:

‘The concept, as dramatised in Christian custom, is quite simple: On October 31, the demonic realm tries one last time to achieve victory, but is banished by the joy of the Kingdom. What is the means by which the demonic realm is vanquished? In a word: mockery. Satan’s great sin is pride. Thus, to drive Satan from us we ridicule him … because he has lost the battle with Jesus and he no longer has power over us …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Today is a good day to talk about death

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On 07/04/2023

In Articles

It’s impossible to avoid the topic of death in a Christian family. I mean, the very symbol of our faith is a Roman instrument of execution. The gospel we proclaim begins with ‘Jesus died for our sins’ (see 1 Corinthians 15:3–8), which is what we remember today on Good Friday.

Of course, the Easter story has a happy ending: we can’t explain Jesus’ death without celebrating the victory and hope of his resurrection. But Good Friday is the perfect opportunity for us and our children to sit with the real sadness of death, without rushing to ‘cheer up’ the conversation. Easter Sunday is still two days away.

Death is a fact of life

Secular bereavement counsellors Mal and Dianne McKissock give this advice:

Parents should ideally teach their children about death as they teach them language and facts about the natural world of which we are all part. They can be shown dead or dying plants, insects, birds and animals … We can help them to become familiar with the word ‘dead’, not euphemisms, and to develop a sense of reverence for all life and respect for what has died.

They warn that phrases like ‘lost’ ‘asleep’ or ‘passed away’ will be interpreted literally and cause confusion. If we call death ‘sleep’, children may also become anxious about closing their own eyes at bedtime.  Children’s questions about death should always be welcomed and answered using simple, age-appropriate language.

The McKissocks explain that children will learn how to deal with death from watching the behaviour of their parents and other adults. But they will also express grief in their own ways. Some children cry privately because they are embarrassed; others will hold onto their feelings, but may overreact to a minor event later on; others will act up or seek attention; still others don’t appear to be sad at all. All of these responses to death are normal for children.

Keep it simple …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Parenting in the Spirit

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On 31/12/2022

In Articles

As a mother, I’ve found it quite difficult to ride the waves of the past couple of years. We’ve all had to adapt to the constant change and anxiety brought about by a global pandemic. And now that life is largely back to normal, we have to cope with the ‘normal’ (read: insane!) levels of busyness that we seem to have lived with pre-pandemic.

Over the past two years, our family has also had to adjust to the arrival of a fourth child, a change of schools and two job changes for my husband. It feels like we’re still slightly off balance and out of control most of the time; things are always falling off the proverbial cart.

Faced with the stress and anxiety that seems to be my new normal, I’ve been learning the power of deep breathing. When I feel overwhelmed, I’m learning to stop and take a few slow breaths in and out again to help my body and mind relax and let go of the tension. It’s been surprisingly effective.

As a Christian, I’m also using these moments, these deep breaths, to take hold of the secret weapon that every Christian parent has at their disposal—the Holy Spirit. As I breathe in, I’m reminding myself that God’s Spirit—God’s breath—gives the life, power, wisdom, freedom and love that we need for every moment of every day.

Will you join me in praying for this to be the year of parenting in the Spirit?
—
Lord, the giver of life,

In the beginning, you breathed into a handful of earth and human beings came to life (Genesis 2:7). In the valley of Ezekiel’s vision, you breathed into dry, lifeless bones and they took on flesh, becoming a mighty army (Ezekiel 37). In the darkness of the tomb, by the power of your Spirit, you raised Jesus from the dead to a new, indestructible life.

May you, the One who gives life to the dead, breathe life into our mortal bodies because of your Spirit who lives in us (Romans 8:11).

Lord, the giver of strength,

I am weak and weary, frail and finite. But I know that your mighty power—the same power that raised Jesus from the dead—is living in us (Ephesians 1:19–20).

I look to you to renew my strength. Help me soar on wings like an eagle; help me run and not grow weary, help me walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31). Lord, help me to trust that ‘I can do all things through him who gives me strength’ (Philippians 4:13).

Lord, the giver of wisdom,

Every day, I face many complex decisions. Too often, I don’t know what to do or how to respond to the people and situations around me. Please fill me with the Spirit of wisdom and revelation that I may know you better and know how best to follow you (Ephesians 1:17). May your Spirit teach me and guide me into all truth (John 16:13).

Lord, the giver of freedom

Too often our family life is based on ‘law’—on rules and expectations. Too often, my relationships are driven by duty, by what ‘should’ be done, which means that my family life often falls short of my ideals.

But through Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life has set us free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2). Jesus kept the law for me so that I don’t have to.

Please cleanse me from my sin. Please give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me: take away my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26–27). Please help me to live not by the letter of law but by the Spirit of freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17).

Please fill my children with your Spirit too. May they obey from a heart that’s been set free, not from a heart that’s afraid of breaking the law.

Lord, the giver of love,

When I live by the law, I become controlling, impatient, critical and anxious. When I expect obedience from our children, but without love, our family starts running on fear.

But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18–19). Thank you for your perfect love that accepts us and forgives us just as we are. Help me to love my family just as you have loved me; help me to forgive them as you forgive.

Love is the fulfilment of the law: if we simply love others by the Spirit, then we will always be doing what is pleasing to you (Romans 13:8–10). Please bring forth in me the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

By your Spirit, please transform me more and more into the image and likeness of Jesus, my Saviour (2 Corinthians 3:18).

In his name I pray,
Amen.
—
This year, when you feel overwhelmed, maybe you could stop and take some deep breaths. And as you breathe in, take hold of the secret weapon of Christian parenting:

May the Spirit of life make dry bones live;
May the Spirit of power make us strong;
May the Spirit of wisdom show us the way;
May the Spirit of freedom move us to love.

This article originally appeared at Growing Faith.

Harriet Connor

Harriet Connor

I'm a mother, wife and Bible teacher from near Sydney, Australia. I write about how the Bible's ancient wisdom makes sense of modern life and parenthood.

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