Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Neighbourhood

The value of a ‘small’ Christian life

I grew up in Sydney—a vast city with an ever-growing population and a never-ending list of things to do and see. In Sydney, you can find just about anything or anyone if you travel far enough. It’s a world of opportunity, with very few limitations. What an exciting place to grow up!

But in our first year of marriage, we moved to the regional area where my husband grew up. Our ultimate plan was to head to Europe as missionaries (how exciting!), but out of the blue, we were offered the chance to gain some ministry experience by serving in an Anglican church outside of Sydney. After four years, with one toddler in tow, we ended up moving a few postcodes over to serve in another church in a regional town.

Thirteen years and three more sons later, we’ve had one church change and a few job changes for my husband, but we are still living in the same town. Part of the reason we have stayed put is that my parents generously helped us to buy a house here a number of years ago.

Since then, a strange thing has happened—our whole world has now shrunk down to this one small regional town. Our older kids have moved to a Christian school here, our youngest was offered a preschool place in the town, I have taken up part-time work a few blocks away from that, I now teach SRE in the local primary school … and even our sons’ Cadets unit moved to a new HQ—at the end of our street! I never have to travel more than six minutes in my normal weekly routine.

The life we have now is quite a contrast from the way I grew up. So what are the things I’ve noticed about the value of living a ‘small’ Christian life?

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The problem with nuclear families

What do you think of when you hear the word ‘family’? If someone asked you, ‘Do you have a family?’, how would you answer?

In our modern Christian culture, we tend to assume that ‘family’ means the nuclear family: mum, dad and their young children, living together. Often this vision of family is presented as the ‘Christian’ or ‘biblical’ family.

Recently, I heard Rev Dr Danielle Treweek explain that this ‘nuclear’ vision of family is actually a modern invention. She quoted this description:

‘In today’s world, the phrase nuclear family conjures up an image of a domestic unit comprising two parents and their children who live together in a single-family residence and who share a deep affective intimacy with one another … Under these conditions, the modern nuclear family is an institution that is characterized above all by privacy.’1

But this is very different to how families looked and worked in Bible times and throughout most of human history. Dani Treweek explained that the phrase ‘nuclear family’ was never meant to refer to something private or separate from the rest of society. It is only the nucleus that sits within a broader network of social relationships—the whole atom! Slowly, we have taken the nucleus out of the atom.

However, when we expect small family units to be private and self-sufficient, it actually weakens both families and the wider society. The modern nuclear model of family isn’t actually working very well. Here’s why.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

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