Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Lockdown

A time-tested routine for spiritual formation

During extended periods of lockdown, it’s easy to slip into what I call ‘calendar freefall’—when each day starts to blend and blur into the next, and weeks pass without me even opening my diary. In lockdown it’s hard even to remember what day it is.

When our time is unstructured, it’s easy to fall out of good habits. When we’re not going anywhere, we forget to brush our teeth in the morning. When there are no bells ringing, we forget to stop for morning tea. When we don’t have sports training, we forget to exercise.

This can happen in our spiritual lives too. When we’re not going to church or Bible study, we can go for days without stopping to pray or open up the Bible.

We were made for routine

The truth is that human beings need routine—it’s woven into the very fabric of creation. God made the world in a rhythmical way: he created in six days—each with evening and morning—then rested on the seventh. God also the built into creation the means for marking time: ‘Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years’ (Genesis 1:14). We’re not designed to live in ‘calendar freefall’.

Routines are important because they don’t just shape the days—they also shape us. The things we do repeatedly, every day or every week, become part of who we are and how we see the world. 

Have you ever noticed how athletes take on different physical shapes depending on the sport they practise? If you walked through the Olympic Athletes’ Village, you’d be able to tell the swimmers from the weightlifters, the basketballers from the marathon runners, the archers from the gymnasts. The things we repeat shape who we become, both physically and spiritually.

A Christian daily routine

This lockdown, I wanted to develop a routine to remind me to look to God each day. I also wanted to use this time to help our children to grow in their faith. Drawing on our rich Anglican heritage, I have found a way to do both of these things at once.

In our family we have started using the ancient Christian practice of saying Morning and Evening Prayer (also called the Daily Office) together as a way of shaping our days and ourselves. We say Morning Prayer around the breakfast table, and Evening Prayer sitting on our bed (if we’re not too tired). On Sundays we have a short ‘Family Church’ service of Morning Prayer in the living room.

Our children range in age from twelve down to one, so these daily times of worship are never completely focused or uninterrupted. And we sometimes have to skip over some parts of the service when things are too chaotic. But here are four reasons why I want to persevere with this lockdown routine.

(At the end of this article you can download the services of Morning and Evening Prayer for families that I have compiled.)

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When home education feels too hard, remember this

Well here we are—still stuck at home after months of lockdown. The kids are still home from school and childcare and most parents are still working from home. And we’re struggling. We’re feeling overburdened by the competing responsibilities of working, running a household, caring for younger children and supervising older children’s home learning. It feels like we’re failing at everything!

As modern parents, we’re used to outsourcing our children’s care and education to professionals. But this can leave us feeling unqualified and overwhelmed when it comes to doing these things ourselves.

At this moment in time, when it feels like we’re wearing too many hats, it’s helpful to stop and refocus on our primary calling. There are many activities that can be outsourced to others, but some things only a parent can do. Your children don’t need a perfect home education. They just need you.

We can’t do everything, but we can be there.

The word ‘parenting’ as a verb is a modern invention; previous generations simply called it ‘being a mother or father’. For millennia, society understood that raising children is not a set of activities or techniques that need to be performed—at its heart, parenting is a relationship. Simply having children binds us to them forever by blood and love.

As a parent, you already offer your children something they can never find elsewhere: a sense that they belong to you because they came from you. In the words of the Bible, children ‘bear the image’ of their parents (Genesis 5:3): they resemble and derive from us. No matter how far our children may travel in life, we, their parents, will always represent ‘home’—a place where they belong.

Let’s stop focusing on what we need to do for our children, but on who we already are to them.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

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