Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Family of origin

Introducing the Timeless Parenting podcast!

Have you ever wondered whether parenting has been getting harder with each new generation? Have you ever sat down with a grandmother, an aunty or an older mum and talked about what parenting was like when their children were young?

Of course, some aspects of parenting are always going to be hard—sleepless nights with a newborn, toddler tantrums, teenage questioning—but there are some challenges facing parents today that are completely new.

One of the biggest challenges for modern parents is the rise of technology—the screens which seem to demand our and our children’s attention 24 hours a day. We’re raising our children in a world that’s very different even from the one we ourselves grew up in! As parents, it can be very hard to guide our children through technology issues that we barely understand ourselves.

Because the internet has given us access to unlimited information, it has also made parenting more confusing. In the past, parents simply did more or less what their parents and grandparents had done before them. Parents weren’t exposed to thousands of different (and often conflicting) ideas about raising children. They didn’t feel the need to choose from a huge catalogue of trending parenting styles. In our age of information, parenting certainly has become more complicated!

Have you ever wished … ?

Have you ever wished that there was a way of sifting through the passing fads—the modern parenting advice that seems to change from year to year—to find some timeless wisdom underneath, something solid enough to build your family life on?

Have you ever wanted to explore God’s word, the Bible, to find some foundational truths and guiding principles for navigating life as a modern parent?

Have you ever longed to sit down with an older Christian mum or dad to hear the wisdom and perspective they’ve gained from years of life and parenting?

I have, many times—and with many tears. And that’s why I am so excited to be announcing the launch of our brand new podcast: Timeless Parenting, a collaboration between Growing Faith and Mothers’ Union Sydney.

Timeless Parenting is where we have real conversations across the generations exploring God’s wisdom for modern families.

The podcast is hosted by me, Harriet Connor, mum of four and Content Editor of Growing Faith and Ann Cunningham, mum to three young adults and parent educator with Mothers’ Union Sydney. We’ll be joined by a range of guests across the generations, who will share their godly wisdom on topical parenting issues. We’ll be releasing a new, 45-minute episode around the middle of every month.

In our first episode, we had a deeply encouraging conversation with Christine Jensen [pictured with us above], who blessed us with her godly perspective gained from decades and decades of raising her own family and encouraging others through her work with Mothers’ Union Sydney.

In our conversation, we considered the question, ‘Has parenting become harder?’. And then we talked about how knowing God, our heavenly Father, and belonging to his family offers just what modern parents so desperately need.

In this first episode, you’ll also find out who we are and why we’ve got together to start the Timeless Parenting podcast!

Listen to it, be encouraged and share it with your friends!

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers’ Union Sydney.

Why I don’t believe in (just) parenting

I’ve been thinking and writing about family life for almost ten years now. As I’ve gradually developed a fuller understanding of God’s vision for families, there’s one word that I have, quite intentionally, dropped from my vocabulary. It’s the word ‘parenting’.

You see, the word ‘parenting’ is a modern invention and carries with it a number of very modern assumptions that I believe are generally unhelpful. God’s vision for parents and children is so much more than what we call ‘parenting’. (Of course, the word is still a useful shorthand, so you’ll find me using it occasionally!)

Let me tell you why I no longer believe in (just) ‘parenting’.

[This article is partly based on a conversation I had with God’s Story Podcast about my new Bible study booklet, Families in God’s Plan: 12 Foundational Bible Studies.]

It’s not just a verb

My main problem with the word ‘parenting’ is that it’s a verb, making it all about what we do. Parents in previous generations simply spoke about being mothers and fathers and I think that’s a more helpful way to look at things. You don’t have to do anything to become a parent—you already are one! That’s equally true whether you’re sitting in an armchair reading a book (alone!) or sitting on the floor playing with your children. We’re all full-time mums and full-time dads—and will be for the rest of our lives.

The most important thing is our relationship with our children. Everything else we might do (or not do!) needs to flow from that.

It’s not just present-tense

The other thing about the verb ‘parenting’ is that it’s always in the present tense. This puts the focus on what we’re doing right now, rather than on what we’re aiming for in the long term. Dealing with the things that seem urgent today—surviving our toddler’s tantrum; getting dinner cooked, served and eaten; stumbling over the ‘finish line’ of bedtime—can sometimes distract us from working towards longer-term goals.

I like the term ‘raising children’ because it inherently looks to the future: it begs the question, raising children into what? It forces us to think about what kind of adults we want our children to grow into, and work backwards from there.

Psalm 78 describes God’s long term vision for child-raising with these words:

‘… we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our ancestors
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands. (Psalm 78:4b–7)

It’s not just an abstract technique …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

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