Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Easter

Mum/dad, why do we call it Good Friday?

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On 29/03/2024

In Articles

Good Friday is the day when Christians worldwide pause to remember the crucifixion of our Saviour Jesus. Traditionally it’s a day of mourning. So how did it start? And why do we call it ‘good’?

The history of the day

In the first three centuries of the Church, Jesus’ death and resurrection were remembered together in a shorter celebration of Easter. The early Christians held one all-night vigil in the lead up to a service of communion at dawn on the Sunday.

Gradually, Easter began to take the form that it does today, spread out over a whole week—’Holy Week’—from Palm Sunday through to Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and then Easter Sunday. The idea of the week-long celebration is that Christians enter into the journey of Jesus, taking time to remember the various events of his final week.

The date of Easter changes because it is calculated in relationship to the cycles of the moon (following Passover, the Jewish festival during which Jesus died). Easter Day falls on the first Sunday after the full moon that follows March 20 (which used to be the date of the Equinox). So Good Friday always falls between March 20 and April 23. If your older children are interested in astronomy, they can read more about this complicated astronomical calculation.

Good Friday has always been a sombre day for Christians to reflect on the sacrificial death of their Lord. Most churches hold a reflective service, traditionally without the celebration of communion. The sombre mood is often expressed in churches being kept bare of any decorations and having music that is more subdued (in some traditions, without the organ).

The name of the day

In other cultures, the day is named differently. In German it is called ‘sorrowful’ Friday, and in Scandinavian languages (and Old English), ‘long Friday’, due to the length of traditional church services. In Romance languages, it is called ‘Holy Friday’ and in Greek it is called ‘the Holy and Great Friday’.

It is this final sense of the word that is carried by the English term ‘Good Friday’. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘good’ in this context refers to ‘a day or season observed as holy by the church’.

So, the first thing we can tell our children is that the meaning of Good Friday is ‘Great’ or ‘Special’ Friday.

The goodness of the day

But there is more we can say. Since at least the late nineteenth century, Christian parents have been explaining to their children that Good Friday is good because that is the day when Jesus died to save us from our sins and give us eternal life. On that day, God turned humanity’s worst evil—executing the innocent Son of God—into our greatest good—salvation for all who believe in him.

This was possible because Jesus chose to go to the cross; he willingly took the penalty for our sins, enduring condemnation and separation from God so that we don’t have to. Yes, Jesus was killed. But he also ‘laid down his life’ for us. He said, ‘I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again’ (John 10:18). As we explain Jesus’ death to our children, we can reassure them that Jesus wasn’t just a powerless victim. We can remind them of what Jesus said to his disciples when they wanted to fight against his arrest:

‘Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?’ (Matthew 26:53–4)

This Easter, let’s tell our children that Good Friday is a sad day. It is right to mourn the suffering and death that Jesus faced. But it is also a good day, because it marks the day when Jesus set us free from our sins by his blood and opened up the gates of heaven to all who believe in him.

This article originally appeared at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

References

‘Who, What, Why: Why is Good Friday called Good Friday?’ BBC Magazine.

‘Good Friday’, Britannica.

‘Passiontide and Holy Week’, Church of England.

‘Calculate the Date of Easter Sunday’, Astronomical Society of South Australia.

What are Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday about?

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On 13/02/2024

In Articles

Since the early days of Christianity, the Church has observed the season of Lent as a preparation for Easter. Traditionally, Easter was the time of year when new converts were baptised and when repentant sinners were re-admitted to fellowship and communion.

The Church of England website explains how this shaped the season:

‘As the candidates for baptism were instructed in Christian faith, and as penitents prepared themselves, through fasting and penance, to be readmitted to communion, the whole Christian community was invited to join them in the process of study and repentance, the extension of which over forty days would remind them of the forty days that Jesus spent in the wilderness, being tested by Satan.’

Counting back forty days from Easter (not including Sundays), means that Lent begins on a Wednesday. The day before this became known as Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day.

Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day

Originally the Tuesday before Lent was about ‘shriving’, that is, confessing your sins. But eventually it became a day of carnival or festival, because it was the final chance people had to ‘party’ before the serious season of Lent began. Many Catholic countries still hold large public carnivals at this time of year. Some of the most famous of these are held in Venice, Italy and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Since Lent traditionally meant fasting from luxuries like meat, eggs, sugar and butter (except on Sundays), the day before became a time to eat up all the ‘luxury’ foods in the house, sometimes in the form of pancakes. That led to the day being called Mardi Gras (French for ‘fat Tuesday’) or Pancake Day.

Ash Wednesday

Ashes are an ancient sign of repentance. For this reason, since the Middle Ages, Christians have observed the start of Lent by being marked in ash with the sign of the cross.

Many traditional churches still hold an Ash Wednesday service. Sometimes, the ash used for marking is made from burning the palm crosses from the previous year’s Palm Sunday service. Some common Scriptures to be read aloud are Psalm 51, a psalm of repentance, and Joel 2:12–18:

‘Even now,’ declares the Lord,
‘return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.’

Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity. (Joel 2:12–13)

When it comes time for the ‘imposition of ashes’, the minister says something like this (from a Church of England liturgy):

‘I invite you to receive these ashes
as a sign of the spirit of penitence with which we shall keep this season of Lent.
God our Father,
you create us from the dust of the earth:
grant that these ashes may be for us
a sign of our penitence
and a symbol of our mortality;
for it is by your grace alone
that we receive eternal life
in Jesus Christ our Saviour.
Amen.’

As the minister marks each person with a cross of ash on their forehead, s/he says:

‘Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.
Turn away from sin and be faithful to Christ.’

Personally, I have found attending our church’s Ash Wednesday service a very meaningful experience. It’s a rare opportunity to remember and express—in a very tangible way—my mortality before God, the One who gives life and forgiveness.

How might we mark these days?

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Today is a good day to talk about death

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On 07/04/2023

In Articles

It’s impossible to avoid the topic of death in a Christian family. I mean, the very symbol of our faith is a Roman instrument of execution. The gospel we proclaim begins with ‘Jesus died for our sins’ (see 1 Corinthians 15:3–8), which is what we remember today on Good Friday.

Of course, the Easter story has a happy ending: we can’t explain Jesus’ death without celebrating the victory and hope of his resurrection. But Good Friday is the perfect opportunity for us and our children to sit with the real sadness of death, without rushing to ‘cheer up’ the conversation. Easter Sunday is still two days away.

Death is a fact of life

Secular bereavement counsellors Mal and Dianne McKissock give this advice:

Parents should ideally teach their children about death as they teach them language and facts about the natural world of which we are all part. They can be shown dead or dying plants, insects, birds and animals … We can help them to become familiar with the word ‘dead’, not euphemisms, and to develop a sense of reverence for all life and respect for what has died.

They warn that phrases like ‘lost’ ‘asleep’ or ‘passed away’ will be interpreted literally and cause confusion. If we call death ‘sleep’, children may also become anxious about closing their own eyes at bedtime.  Children’s questions about death should always be welcomed and answered using simple, age-appropriate language.

The McKissocks explain that children will learn how to deal with death from watching the behaviour of their parents and other adults. But they will also express grief in their own ways. Some children cry privately because they are embarrassed; others will hold onto their feelings, but may overreact to a minor event later on; others will act up or seek attention; still others don’t appear to be sad at all. All of these responses to death are normal for children.

Keep it simple …

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

What is Lent and how might we observe it?

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On 11/02/2023

In Articles

Lent traditions

Lent is the season of the Church calendar which comprises the 40 days (plus Sundays) before Easter. It has been observed since the earliest days of the Church and is modelled on Jesus’ 40 days of testing in the wilderness. Traditionally, Lent is a season of self-examination, prayer, fasting and giving, which is designed to prepare a person’s heart for the celebration of Easter.

Lent begins on Ash Wednesday when many churches hold a special service of repentance, culminating in the minister marking each person’s head with ash in the sign of a cross, saying:

‘Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Turn away from sin and be faithful to Christ.’

During Lent, Christians have traditionally fasted from meat, fish, eggs and butter, and restricted themselves to only one full meal each evening (a small amount of food would also be eaten in the morning and at midday). This did not count for Sundays, which were still considered days of celebration. Children, the elderly and pregnant and breastfeeding mothers were not expected to fast. In general, these ‘rules’ for fasting have become more relaxed. Today, even the Roman Catholic Church requires adults to fast only on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and abstain from meat on the Fridays of Lent.

In order to rid the kitchen of ‘forbidden’ foods before Lent, Christians began celebrating Shrove Tuesday (also known as Mardi Gras or ‘Fat Tuesday’) the day before, when they would eat up all their ‘luxury’ foods. At some times in history, Christians gave up eggs, sugar and dairy for Lent, which gave rise to the tradition of cooking of pancakes on that day.

In addition to this ‘giving up’, Lent is a time for taking up the spiritual disciplines of prayer and giving in a more focused way. Physical hunger is meant to drive the worshipper to depend on God more prayerfully; the money saved by refraining from ‘luxury’ foods (such as meat) can be shared generously with those in need.

Lent, modernised

Some modern Christians choose to ‘fast’ from different things during Lent. Some common things to give up are chocolate/sugar, alcohol or social media. The idea is that when you are tempted to go to these things for comfort, you seek God in prayer instead. Giving up social media can also free up more time and attention that we can devote to God.

To keep reading about Lent for families, head to Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Harriet Connor

Harriet Connor

I'm a mother, wife and Bible teacher from near Sydney, Australia. I write about how the Bible's ancient wisdom makes sense of modern life and parenthood.

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