Discipleship | Harriet Connor

The what, why and how of discipline

On 14/06/2025

Discipline is probably the most difficult—and divisive—area of parenting, even among Christians. At some point every parent wonders: Are we disciplining our children enough? Or perhaps too much? Are we too lenient? Or perhaps too strict?

Our society usually equates discipline with punishment—a response to bad behaviour. But the Bible’s definition is much broader than that. Understanding biblical discipline begins with knowing God, the only perfect Father, who lovingly disciplines his children for their growth in godliness. In the light of this, the Bible describes parental discipline in terms of a loving, intentional, wholistic and long-term process that involves modelling, encouraging, teaching, training and correcting our children to help them mature towards godliness.

In this episode we speak with author and mum of five, Jocelyn Loane, taking a deep-dive into what biblical discipline really means.

We talk about:

What is discipline, according to the Bible?
Why do parents need to discipline their children?
How can discipline go wrong?
Is it OK for Christian parents to smack (or not to smack) their children?
How should we understand the ‘rod of discipline’ described in Proverbs?
How can we best respond to our children’s bad behaviour?

This conversation will be valuable for any Christian parent who wants to better understand the what, why and how of biblical discipline.

When children wander from the faith

By Harriet Connor

On 12/04/2025

In Recordings

As Christian parents we have to live with an uncomfortable tension. Our parenting matters—indeed God instructs us to raise our children in the Christian faith—but ultimately, it is only God who can give saving faith to our children.

We long for our children to grow up knowing, loving and following Jesus, just as we do. We do all that we can to pass on our Christian faith through our example, our teaching and our family routines and priorities. This is what we explored in the last episode of Timeless Parenting: how we can equip our children to stand firm in the Christian faith, especially in an increasingly hostile world.

But in this follow-up episode, we discuss the confronting reality that, despite our best efforts, not all of the children of Christian parents choose to keep following Jesus. This is a great test of our own faith—will we keep trusting God, even if our children wander away from him?

In this conversation, we are joined by guests Kat Ashton Israel and Al James as we explore:

Why do Christians feel uncomfortable discussing this topic?
How does it impact parents (and their faith) when a child ‘wanders’ from God?
If we can’t guarantee our children’s faith, what is our role?
How can we respond helpfully to our children’s questions and doubts about Christianity?
How can parents respond when a child walks away from church and Christianity?
How can our churches better support families with children who have ‘wandered’?

This episode offers real stories and helpful insights, as well as empathy and encouragement for parents and churches who are experiencing the heartache of seeing young people walk away from faith.

For more on this topic, you can read Kat Ashton Israel’s chapter ‘Teenage faith: doubters, drifters and deserters’ in Parenting in God’s Family.

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You can also find our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and other platforms.

If you want to get in touch with us to offer some feedback or suggest a topic, you can write to us at: timelessparenting@youthworks.net

Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Technology: it’s a discipleship issue

By Harriet Connor

On 15/12/2024

In Recordings

Every modern parent knows how hard it is to get the balance right with technology. That’s why, in our latest Timeless Parenting episode, we sat to talk with Daniel Sih, author of Raising Tech-Healthy Humans and contributor to Parenting in God’s Family.

Our conversation moved beyond simple tips and hacks to the deeper questions of Christian discipleship and Christian values and how these might shape our family’s approach to tech. When it comes to technology, we need to stop and ask ourselves: How is this helping my child to love God and follow Jesus with all their heart, soul, mind and strength?

We also talked with Daniel Sih about the effects of tech overuse on children and their learning, the importance of creating ‘tech-healthy’ rhythms and ‘going slow’ with introducing new tech to kids. You’ll hear Daniel’s insights into which kind of ‘screen time’ is best for kids, what age is best for giving children access to a smartphone or social media, and how we can best set our children up to thrive in a tech-saturated future.

Our conversation finished up with an encouraging reminder that no matter what, parents and children alike can keep coming back to God’s unending grace.

As the summer holidays approach, with the seemingly constant appeal of more screen time, I encourage you to make time to listen to Daniel’s very wise (and gracious) advice for making sure we’re using technology in a way that helps, not hinders, our family’s Christian discipleship.

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If you would like to think more about this topic, have a look at Daniel Sih’s chapter of Parenting in God’s Family: ‘The art of tech-healthy parenting’.

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Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

What is Christian parenting?

By Harriet Connor

On 07/09/2024

In Articles

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of our new book, Parenting in God’s Family.

When our first son was about six weeks old, I joined a ‘mother and baby’ group run by our local health service. After the formal education sessions ended, our group continued to meet until our babies were about two years old. That group was a great support to me. It was such a relief to meet some other new mothers and realise that most of my questions, concerns and struggles were perfectly normal.

It felt like I had so much in common with those other mothers—we seemed to have similar desires, hopes and worries for our children, and similar expectations and disappointments about motherhood. As time went on, I started to wonder what difference it made that I was a Christian. Was my approach to raising children any different to that of the other parents around me?

In my case, Christian parenting was a completely foreign territory. I grew up in a non-Christian family and came to Christ independently in late primary school. I had never seen or experienced ‘Christian parenting’ until I was trying to do it myself!

Our first son is now a teenager and has been joined by three younger brothers. For most of that time, I’ve been trying to work out what Christian parenting looks like by reading and reflecting on the Bible, getting to know our children, talking with my husband and connecting with other Christian parents. Like any new area of knowledge or skill, I think you only really get better at parenting as you practise and refine your approach over time. Christian parenting is not a set of detailed rules or instructions; it’s more like a set of principles that need to be applied with wisdom at each new stage of your child’s development.

If were to summarise it, I would say:

Christian parenting means receiving children as gifts from God, reflecting his fatherly love to them and taking responsibility for their apprenticeship in life and faith. At the same time, Christian parenting means acknowledging our human limitations and introducing our children to their perfect heavenly Father and his spiritual family.

Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Tag: Discipleship

The what, why and how of discipline

Further reading:

When children wander from the faith

Technology: it’s a discipleship issue

What is Christian parenting?

Harriet Connor

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