Harriet Connor Author

Last week I submitted a manuscript for a new book! Families in God’s Plan: 12 Foundational Bible Studies is due for release with Growing Faith (an imprint of Youthworks Media) in time for the start of 2022.

(I should have dedicated the book to my noise-cancelling headphones—I couldn’t have done it without them!)

These studies will help individuals, couples and small groups to see how families fit into God’s plans for the world, from Creation right through to the New Creation. Knowing ‘where we are’ in God’s timeline helps us to understand his purposes for our family.

The studies are for all kinds of people—after all, we all belong to a family—but they will be especially relevant to those who are raising children.

Each study covers two or more Bible passages for you to read and explore, a short reflection from me, some questions to help you apply what you’ve read and a final psalm to prompt your prayers. Each study also includes a ‘Parents’ Talking Point’: a suggested topic for husbands and wives to sit down and discuss together.

I really enjoyed working on this project! The studies bring together many of the things I have learnt about family life since the publication of my first book. They are guaranteed to get you thinking about families in a new light.

At this stage, the plan is for Families in God’s Plan to be a digital resource. You will buy an individual/couple or group licence to download and print a PDF. However, if there is enough interest, Youthworks Media will consider publishing a hardcopy version.

Can you please let me know: would you prefer a digital or hardcopy version of Families in God’s Plan? How many copies would you buy? This will help my publisher to plan the book’s release. Thank you!

Real hope for the perfectly imperfect

By Harriet Connor

On 22/10/2021

In Articles

In recent articles at Growing Faith, we’ve explored the reality of family life in a fallen world: our families are imperfect, so we need to keep on receiving and showing forgiveness; as parents, we fall short of ‘best practice’, so we’re utterly dependent on God’s grace.

Recent history—with its fires, floods and extended pandemics—has also made it painfully clear that the world our kids are growing up in is imperfect too—we cannot offer them a childhood free from disappointment and suffering.

For modern parents, who tend towards perfectionism, raising children in a fallen world can become excruciating, because nothing ever measures up to our expectations. We can become paralysed by disappointment, guilt, anxiety and fear for our children.

But as Christian parents, we are uniquely equipped for parenting this side of heaven. The Bible explains why we can’t expect perfection of ourselves, our children or the world: because we are living outside of Eden. The Bible also gives us real hope for the future: one day, we and our children (God willing) will live in a new and perfect world, where nothing will ever make us disappointed, guilty, anxious or afraid again.

Knowing our place in the Bible’s timeline can help us to avoid the trap of perfectionism, which is damaging for parents and children alike. For now, what our kids really need are ‘good enough’ parents. Here’s why.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

A time-tested routine for spiritual formation

By Harriet Connor

On 27/09/2021

In Articles

During extended periods of lockdown, it’s easy to slip into what I call ‘calendar freefall’—when each day starts to blend and blur into the next, and weeks pass without me even opening my diary. In lockdown it’s hard even to remember what day it is.

When our time is unstructured, it’s easy to fall out of good habits. When we’re not going anywhere, we forget to brush our teeth in the morning. When there are no bells ringing, we forget to stop for morning tea. When we don’t have sports training, we forget to exercise.

This can happen in our spiritual lives too. When we’re not going to church or Bible study, we can go for days without stopping to pray or open up the Bible.

We were made for routine

The truth is that human beings need routine—it’s woven into the very fabric of creation. God made the world in a rhythmical way: he created in six days—each with evening and morning—then rested on the seventh. God also the built into creation the means for marking time: ‘Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years’ (Genesis 1:14). We’re not designed to live in ‘calendar freefall’.

Routines are important because they don’t just shape the days—they also shape us. The things we do repeatedly, every day or every week, become part of who we are and how we see the world.

Have you ever noticed how athletes take on different physical shapes depending on the sport they practise? If you walked through the Olympic Athletes’ Village, you’d be able to tell the swimmers from the weightlifters, the basketballers from the marathon runners, the archers from the gymnasts. The things we repeat shape who we become, both physically and spiritually.

A Christian daily routine

This lockdown, I wanted to develop a routine to remind me to look to God each day. I also wanted to use this time to help our children to grow in their faith. Drawing on our rich Anglican heritage, I have found a way to do both of these things at once.

In our family we have started using the ancient Christian practice of saying Morning and Evening Prayer (also called the Daily Office) together as a way of shaping our days and ourselves. We say Morning Prayer around the breakfast table, and Evening Prayer sitting on our bed (if we’re not too tired). On Sundays we have a short ‘Family Church’ service of Morning Prayer in the living room.

Our children range in age from twelve down to one, so these daily times of worship are never completely focused or uninterrupted. And we sometimes have to skip over some parts of the service when things are too chaotic. But here are four reasons why I want to persevere with this lockdown routine.

(At the end of this article you can download the services of Morning and Evening Prayer for families that I have compiled.)

When home education feels too hard, remember this

By Harriet Connor

On 17/09/2021

In Articles

Well here we are—still stuck at home after months of lockdown. The kids are still home from school and childcare and most parents are still working from home. And we’re struggling. We’re feeling overburdened by the competing responsibilities of working, running a household, caring for younger children and supervising older children’s home learning. It feels like we’re failing at everything!

As modern parents, we’re used to outsourcing our children’s care and education to professionals. But this can leave us feeling unqualified and overwhelmed when it comes to doing these things ourselves.

At this moment in time, when it feels like we’re wearing too many hats, it’s helpful to stop and refocus on our primary calling. There are many activities that can be outsourced to others, but some things only a parent can do. Your children don’t need a perfect home education. They just need you.

We can’t do everything, but we can be there.

The word ‘parenting’ as a verb is a modern invention; previous generations simply called it ‘being a mother or father’. For millennia, society understood that raising children is not a set of activities or techniques that need to be performed—at its heart, parenting is a relationship. Simply having children binds us to them forever by blood and love.

As a parent, you already offer your children something they can never find elsewhere: a sense that they belong to you because they came from you. In the words of the Bible, children ‘bear the image’ of their parents (Genesis 5:3): they resemble and derive from us. No matter how far our children may travel in life, we, their parents, will always represent ‘home’—a place where they belong.

Let’s stop focusing on what we need to do for our children, but on who we already are to them.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

The children of believers belong to God’s family

By Harriet Connor

On 19/06/2021

In Articles

Over at Growing Faith we recently published a series of articles about how the children of believers belong to God’s family.

First, Jocelyn Loane looked at how the Bible views the children of Christians: not as non-Christians, but as Christians-in-training.

Next, I explored how this influences our view of children and the sacraments of baptism and communion.

Finally, Ann Cunningham and I asked the question: What can we do if our children want ‘out’ of God’s family?

I hope you learn as much from reading these articles as I did from writing them!

Bearing the Wounds of Motherhood

By Harriet Connor

On 07/05/2021

In Articles

‘Have more babies!’ my aunty pleaded last week, when our seven-month-old was being particularly cute at a family gathering. Come to think of it, wherever we go—church, school, playgroup or the shops—our (usually) beaming baby boy brings great joy.

Everyone loves babies!

I think the reason for this is that babies are so perfect. They embody a fresh start, pure potential, hope for the future. When we look at a baby, it kindles a hope that our world might become a better place for them to grow up in. When we look at a baby, it kindles a hope that their life might be better than ours has been. When we look at a baby, it kindles a hope that we might do a better job of child-raising than previous generations.

But as an older mother with three older children, my hope for our baby is somewhat muted; it’s a bit restrained by what I’ve seen of real life. I know that our world can be a cruel place for children—we parents can’t always shelter them from bullies or accidents or sickness. I know that every child will have disadvantages to overcome—an allergy, a health problem or an anxious personality. I know that at some point, even this new baby will experience the kind of mistakes and imperfections that make me feel like the worst mother in the world.

Everyone loves babies because, for the most part, babies haven’t yet been wounded by the world. But as a mother I know that, in some shape or form, the wounds are coming and I will be powerless to stop them. And that is the wound of motherhood.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Bunnies, Eggs and New Life at Easter

By Harriet Connor

On 01/04/2021

In Articles

Have your children ever asked you what rabbits and eggs have to do with Easter? How did you answer?

Perhaps you said something about new life—rabbits are famous for having lots of babies, and eggs are where little chicks come from. Perhaps you said something about Easter coming at springtime in the Northern Hemisphere—when new life starts to bud and bloom after winter.

Rabbits and eggs are indeed ancient, pre-Christian symbols of fertility. But does that have anything to do with Easter? Isn’t Easter about something else—not birth, but death and resurrection?

If we take a closer look at the Bible’s own symbols, it’s clear that actually, the ideas of birth, death and resurrection are closely linked; they are all symbolised in terms of humanity’s relationship to the earth. Following this imagery, the Bible portrays resurrection as a kind of second birth. While the Bible does not use the symbols of rabbits or eggs, you could say that Easter is all about birth—new birth.

Many children (and adults!) are visual learners, so helping them not just to hear the Bible’s words, but to see its symbols and images, is a powerful way of connecting them to God’s truths.

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Living Faith in Front of Our Children (Talk)

By Harriet Connor

On 18/03/2021

In Recordings

Recently, I gave a 30-minute talk about ‘Living Faith in Front of Our Children’. It was part of a conference run by Mothers Union Sydney. My talk is part of the seminar called ‘Light at the End of the Tunnel’. On the video link, the talk starts at about 1:36:00. On the audio-only link below that, mine is the third talk of the conference. I hope it encourages you today!

https://vimeo.com/mothersunionsydney

https://soundcloud.com/mothersunionsydney

Is their backpack a burden? Parents, you need to know.

By Harriet Connor

On 05/02/2021

In Articles

This week our third son started Kindergarten (his first year of school). As I lifted his stiff new backpack onto his shoulders, I asked how he felt. ‘Heavily armoured … and overloaded’, he said. Somehow he felt both protected and burdened.

When the time came for our son to leave with his teacher, he went through the gate with a wave, still bouncing despite the weight of his bag. I waved back with a brave smile, hoping and praying that he would bounce back out just as happily at the end of the day.

To carry or not to carry?

I’ve stood waving and waiting at the school gate for six years now and have witnessed many different interactions. On the first day of school, most parents offer to carry their children’s heavy load of new books and equipment—some kids accept the help but others want to carry their bag alone. After the first day, when the school bags aren’t quite so heavy, most parents leave it to their kids to carry them.

One mother I’ve seen is more of a ‘Sherpa parent’ (yes, that’s a thing!). As soon as her children walk through the gate each day, she swoops in to relieve them of their backpacks. Conveniently, she has two children—one backpack for each shoulder. On the days when a child comes out holding a musical instrument or school project, she swiftly takes that too.

It makes me wonder: should parents carry their children’s backpacks? I think the backpack is also a symbol—of all the loads that our children carry in life. As parents we face the constant dilemma: should we step in to help, or should we leave our kids to it?

Keep reading over at Growing Faith, a Christian online magazine for parents. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

The Christmas Story Starts with a Family. But Why?

By Harriet Connor

On 24/12/2020

In Articles

You could say that Jesus didn’t really need a human family. After all, he had God as his Father (Luke 2:49) and his disciples as brothers and sisters (Matthew 12:48–50). As an adult, Jesus never married or had children of his own. Maybe God could simply have sent an adult to carry out his mission of salvation.

But we all know that’s not how the Christmas story goes. God chose for his Son to be born into a human family, raised by a mother and (adoptive) father alongside half-brothers and sisters.

The Christmas story starts with a family. But why?

In 2020 I started working for Growing Faith—a Christian online magazine for parents. Read the rest of this article on their website here. Find out more about Growing Faith and subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter here.

Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Page 6 of 13

Introducing my forthcoming book: ‘Families in God’s Plan’

Real hope for the perfectly imperfect

A time-tested routine for spiritual formation

We were made for routine

A Christian daily routine

When home education feels too hard, remember this

We can’t do everything, but we can be there.

The children of believers belong to God’s family

Bearing the Wounds of Motherhood

Bunnies, Eggs and New Life at Easter

Living Faith in Front of Our Children (Talk)

Is their backpack a burden? Parents, you need to know.

To carry or not to carry?

The Christmas Story Starts with a Family. But Why?

Harriet Connor

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