Andrew G. Marshall has spent almost thirty years helping couples to overcome their marriage difficulties. Most of the misery he encounters can be traced back to one single issue: how to stop your children from ruining your marriage.

He writes:

“Although bringing up the next generation is possibly the most fulfilling and life-affirming thing anyone can do, babies and small children do seem to have a mission to destroy everything they come into contact with, from your clothes and furniture to your nerves, sex life and sometimes even your marriage … in the hurly-burly of bringing up a family … you drop down each other’s list of priorities until one or other of you complains: ‘You always put me last’” (p 5-6).

Marshall has distilled his insights into a book, called I Love You But You Always Put Me Last: How to Childproof Your Marriage (Macmillan, London, 2013). The book is full of diagnostic quizzes, real-life examples, and practical tips to help you build a stronger marriage during the child-raising years. And with one in three Australian marriages currently ending in divorce, we would do well to pay attention.

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The realistic parent’s guide to understanding and shaping your child’s behaviour

by Professor Kim Oates, Finch Publishing, Sydney, 2014.

When we open up a parenting book, we make ourselves vulnerable. We begin cautiously, fearing that what we read might confirm our suspicions that we are fundamentally inadequate for the high calling of parenthood.

However, when I opened up 20 Tips for Parents, my fears were quickly relieved.

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