This week our third son started Kindergarten (his first year of school). As I lifted his stiff new backpack onto his shoulders, I asked how he felt. ‘Heavily armoured … and overloaded’, he said. Somehow he felt both protected and burdened.

When the time came for our son to leave with his teacher, he went through the gate with a wave, still bouncing despite the weight of his bag. I waved back with a brave smile, hoping and praying that he would bounce back out just as happily at the end of the day.

To carry or not to carry?

I’ve stood waving and waiting at the school gate for six years now and have witnessed many different interactions. On the first day of school, most parents offer to carry their children’s heavy load of new books and equipment—some kids accept the help but others want to carry their bag alone. After the first day, when the school bags aren’t quite so heavy, most parents leave it to their kids to carry them.

One mother I’ve seen is more of a ‘Sherpa parent’ (yes, that’s a thing!). As soon as her children walk through the gate each day, she swoops in to relieve them of their backpacks. Conveniently, she has two children—one backpack for each shoulder. On the days when a child comes out holding a musical instrument or school project, she swiftly takes that too.

It makes me wonder: should parents carry their children’s backpacks? I think the backpack is also a symbol—of all the loads that our children carry in life. As parents we face the constant dilemma: should we step in to help, or should we leave our kids to it?

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