https://hope1032.com.au/stories/life/parenting/2017/no-mummy-guilt-ancient-wisdom-makes-parenting-peaceful/
Author: Harriet Connor (Page 13 of 14)
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There’s no quicker way to ignite an emotional debate than to raise the issue of discipline. At one end of the spectrum are those who say, “The problem with today’s children is that they aren’t disciplined enough—our generation was smacked and it taught us to be respectful.” At the other end of the spectrum are those who warn about how discipline can be abused and result in negative consequences for children.
So, what does the Bible say? How can Christians chart a course through the murky waters of the discipline debate?
Andrew G. Marshall has spent almost thirty years helping couples to overcome their marriage difficulties. Most of the misery he encounters can be traced back to one single issue: how to stop your children from ruining your marriage.
He writes:
“Although bringing up the next generation is possibly the most fulfilling and life-affirming thing anyone can do, babies and small children do seem to have a mission to destroy everything they come into contact with, from your clothes and furniture to your nerves, sex life and sometimes even your marriage … in the hurly-burly of bringing up a family … you drop down each other’s list of priorities until one or other of you complains: ‘You always put me last’” (p 5-6).
Marshall has distilled his insights into a book, called I Love You But You Always Put Me Last: How to Childproof Your Marriage (Macmillan, London, 2013). The book is full of diagnostic quizzes, real-life examples, and practical tips to help you build a stronger marriage during the child-raising years. And with one in three Australian marriages currently ending in divorce, we would do well to pay attention.
Whenever I sit down to read Proverbs, a giant shadow falls across the page and darkens my view. It’s her – the “wife of noble character” from chapter 31. You know the one? She’s the biblical version of that “picture perfect” mother from your social media feed. Glowing with godliness, she is in equal parts my inspiration and my condemnation.
But if we really want to hear what the whole book of Proverbs has to say about mothers, we’ll have to step out from under her shadow for a moment and keep reading.
The realistic parent’s guide to understanding and shaping your child’s behaviour
by Professor Kim Oates, Finch Publishing, Sydney, 2014.
When we open up a parenting book, we make ourselves vulnerable. We begin cautiously, fearing that what we read might confirm our suspicions that we are fundamentally inadequate for the high calling of parenthood.
However, when I opened up 20 Tips for Parents, my fears were quickly relieved.
The account of Jacob and his family occupies almost half of the book of Genesis. It’s a captivating story about how God’s holy, eternal promises have coursed through the veins of very weak and finite human beings; it’s about how God can work through the mess and grime of family life to achieve his glorious purposes.
And God knows that I need to hear that story today. My family life seems weak—often it feels like we’re just skating on the thin ice of civility, with chaos lying in wait just under the surface.
How could God possibly be at work in this very human family?
Taking a step back from the ‘do’s and don’ts’ of parenting, Harriet Connor explores the bigger picture of what the goal of raising our children is.
“Rather than write another book of ‘rules for parenting’, Harriet Connor has taken a step back to look at the bigger picture. This is far more than just another voice in the multitude with yet another program for bringing up balanced or happy kids. No. This is something better.”
The Equip Women Book Club thinks so!
“Big Picture Parents would make a great gift for the different people in your life: someone who’s about to have a baby; someone who’s been coming to your church for a while; someone who is a parent and didn’t grow up in a Christian family themselves; someone from a cultural background where parenting is driven by guilt, fear and shame.”
